Rose and the great blue
Floating.
Floating with the stream.
Here I am swimming with the reflections of the sun, the trees on the bank and the birds overhead. Purely enjoying life. Not worrying about a thing. Sank deep into the mesmerising sight of the blue sky, hypnotised by the vibration of light beaming through the leafs, giving a sensation of hovering metres over the surface weightlessly, dancing in the air moving together with the spring breeze. I can’t keep my eyes open nor can I close them. I’ve become blind, when the rays of light hit my iris, it sparkles shooting fireworks to the air celebrating all life forms. I’m feeling being beautiful.
I’m rolling over. Wow, it’s good I’ll try again. And again. Start rotating slowly to the right. Up. Down. And down again. Maybe this way is up. Speeding up. Dizzying. Can’t help. Spinning furiously, laughing and falling unconscious.
Stop! What is this ache in the chest? What is this endlessly deep emptiness in the soul? What is this beckoning black void under? Where have all the light gone? What has happened to me?
Who are you?
How did you do this: give me the excitement, life, love and happiness; Then a second later take everything leaving only memories, sadness and emptiness? How?
And why?
WHY??
Aaaarrrrrgggghhh!
You Must Tell Me!!
Now!
Please.
I’m asking you.
I’m begging you.
I need to know.
Pleasepleasepleaseplea..
Sob.
I couldn’t carry this heavy burden of not knowing why I have failed.
Is it just a probe? A quiz? If I do well.. if I am strong enough and humble but have dignity.. if I surrender sacrificing relish…If I was able to forego anything in the world, then, but only then could I get to the Great Blue? But…no, you must understand..
I understand now. I will get there only when I have come to terms with the idea that it is not possible. It is clear now. Thank you.
However, I can not give up. You will understand..
The Great Blue is waiting for me patiently and I am floating towards her.
Slowly. In my way.
And I will get there.
You’ll see.
Photo by Mlle Flou; Story by gomes
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